Poo Flinger

18 Oct

I had to write this immediately after the incident because it’s too insane to mention later.

I like to chase my cat around. He enjoys it for a while, like a game. Then it turns serious and he scratches me up and we move on. Afterward, he’ll lay in my lap or follow us to our bedroom to tuck in for the night. Tonight was no different, except for the shit on the walls.

Yes, you read that right.

I had chased him around earlier this evening, and when I went to get him later, he was stuck in computer wires on the floor in our office. I have never seen him in such a panic, and this was the only time I have ever been afraid of him (and for him). Truly afraid that he would open up an artery in my arm if I even tried to touch him. He was hissing, snarling, and did not – DID NOT – want me to make a move. But there he was, entangled in wires. I had to get him out, and what the hell is that smell… oh my, is that… poo?

HE POOPED. ALL OVER THE FLOOR.
And that? That’s pee. HE PEED TOO.

So I coo at him, shhh Higgins, and I move slowly as he continues hissing at me. I’m able to touch his head and rub the ridge of his nose, which seems to be a little calming because he actually closes his eyes. I grab his scruff to slowly drag him near me and I have a pillow in my other hand to have a chance at protecting my skin. He seems alright, so I put the pillow down and lift up his butt to finagle the wires off his body. He apparently doesn’t like that as he twists and flings his body, which then flings the poo, and I don’t even realize this. I DON’T REALIZE THAT POO HAS BEEN FLUNG.

I get him into the bathroom and drop him in the tub. My husband finally hears my yells and comes upstairs. As I’m bathing Higgins, Paul informs me that poo ended up everywhere. The wires, the floor, the computer tower, the wall, the chair…

Oh my god, is it in my HAIR?!

So we just finished cleaning. We wiped with disinfectant. We sprayed with odor-eliminators. We bathed the cat. I even vacuumed the bedroom.

Higgins is now sequestered in the bathroom with his litter and sustenance for the night. Hopefully he appreciates the quiet and calms down. We’re going to watch him tomorrow to see if he needs a trip to the vet. I think being stuck in the wires put him into Defensive and Scared Shitless (but Obviously NOT Shitless) Mode, but Paul’s thinking something else may be wrong with him. So we’ll see.

I don’t think I’ll chase him around for a while though, in fear that poo will spew from his nether regions into my face. That seems worse than a few scratches on my arm.

And people tell me to wait until I have kids.
At least I’ll be ready for their poo-flinging.

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2 Responses to “Poo Flinger”

  1. Tamara October 24, 2008 at 9:44 am #

    Oh dear.

    LMAO!

    I know, I shouldn’t be lauhing but I could just picture myself in that situation.. I would be flippin’ out like nobodies business! ACK!

    Friggin’ psycho cat! That beast would be livin’ outside, fo’ sure! lol.

  2. Muriel October 25, 2008 at 11:32 am #

    No, laughing is essential in a situation like that, which is why I wrote it so soon after the incident.

    But, I can’t blame him for what happened. He was so scared and in a panic, poor lil’ guy =(

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