Censoring Your Blog

18 Jan

I’ve learned from others that personal blogging does not mean you can sit at your keyboard and write about whatever you want. “Freedom of the press” doesn’t apply in our situation. The consequences are high and unpleasant, and sometimes unforgiving. Our families, our friends, our jobs, our futures – they’re all here on this “interweb” permanently. You can be fired from your job, arguments will ensue, and occasionally objects will fly into walls and crash into little pieces.

Just occasionally.

This is an ongoing learning experience. I don’t know the ins and outs of what so-and-so finds off limits, and really, how would I be certain without asking or being told?

I like to base what I write here as if I were a high-profile celebrity. Would I want everyone in the world to know this tidbit of information? Would my family find a problem? Would my friends care?

Usually, it’s easier to be personal when you’re alone. If I didn’t have family, I would write whatever the hell I wanted here. I wouldn’t think twice about blogging on sexual partners or business crises or what my poop looked like yesterday morning. I feel that there are certain topics that just bind us together as a society full of flaws and I sometimes yearn to find someone else with my experience.

Enter the Family. The husband, the parents, the (future) children. Their lives are tied into this and I can’t cast off their privacy, right? Perhaps my sister-in-law would prefer me not to write about our niece. Perhaps my parents don’t want their photos up for the world. Perhaps my future children shouldn’t know this about their father. And who am I to argue against them? I know that I wouldn’t want someone to spew everything about my life. Why would others feel differently?

So there is my husband – my “shining light” on this topic. He was the one that read my old blog and brought up his personal issues with learning personal information about my personal past. Who knew that what I wrote as a teenager would bother my future spouse? I obviously didn’t. And this was my first throw-down on censorship.

This is my conundrum. How do I know what is off limits to you? I don’t. I see this world from my perspective and I try to take others into consideration. I’m obviously not perfect and so mistakes will be made.

I shouldn’t have to police [your blog]; you should know better than that.

Should I?

How could I? How could a topic that seems perfectly fine to me (and many others) be a topic that is off limits? Because it’s off limits to my husband. And I’m fine with that because he’s my husband; I have to live with this person and respect his requests. Or demands, as they are sometimes construed.

But damn it to hell, I resent the idea that I should psychically know what is off limits to everyone around me. There are obvious topics that should not be discussed, and then there is a gray area. A damn neutral gray area that says, well maybe so maybe no. And frankly, I don’t even see certain topics as gray until I’m told.

Oh, the point, where did the point go?

I will happily refrain from writing here what anyone in my life doesn’t want me to share. HAPPILY. Just please ask nicely. Please don’t assume that I’m sharing information to purposely make you uncomfortable or upset or embarrassed. Please don’t assume I know what is off limits, even if you consider me “a smart person.” I’m just here, finding others who are here, who are possibly in the same situation.

Do you, readers, think this entry is off limits? Let’s find out.

PS: My parents and friends have never censored my writing here. But, I’m beginning to think that perhaps I just haven’t written something they would be upset about.

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