A Rare Moment in London

26 Jun

This is a rare moment between my parents. Even more rare because it’s in London.

I love them, you know. We don’t say it often, or even speak to each other much. But, they are present when I need them and do what they can to help.

I do want to make my parents proud, even if they don’t understand my actions. I’m sure a lot of parents wish their child would just follow a routine path – university, doctor, marriage, grandkids… fame, fortune, family. That’s not how it works usually. It didn’t work for them.

Sometimes, I don’t know if what I’m doing will be what works for me in the end, but I know I’m moving in a direction where positive energy is what I’ll end up with.

I hope they feel that way when they’re gone. I hope they’re not disappointed and burdened, but realize I tried my best to be happy. I do without much and live with even less, but my days are simply… good. I strive for greatness and I know it’s coming.

I no longer live in a house, I no longer travel much, I’m no longer married… I hurt good people and lost material things. But, all of this is for the best. I’ll have a house someday. I’ll see Europe again. And I know more about marriage than ever before. I want my parents to understand that I’m better off now, even if it appears that I’m not.

I want the people I hurt to be better off too. I’m sure they are – I’m sure without me in their lives, they feel more secure in their own actions. They may be confused as to why I did what I did, and then why I could not stay when I was asked to… but there are no words to explain it well enough. A person with their judgments so ingrained in their being are not going to share my perspective. What is important though: my gratitude for what they’ve done for me and how they helped me survive. Literally and figuratively.

It’s a rare moment to be truly happy. I experience it more often than before, which tells me I’m heading in the right direction. I hope you are too.

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